So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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