Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
