i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
