Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
