these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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