Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need a beard to bite.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize