She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
