he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
