he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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