Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
