Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
