Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
