I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
