I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
