For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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