she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
