Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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