SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
