Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had sex on a roof
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
