My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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