I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
