..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
