Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
