isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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