this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
