Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
