I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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