Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
