also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
