Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
