a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I pour the whiskey from now on
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
