how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dicks are not precious.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
