Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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