Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
