My cat gives me a boner
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
