i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
