I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
