she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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