Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
