4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
