Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Bring me that man meat
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
