Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
