If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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