i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
