i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
His nipple licking is glorious
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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