CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
