Don't you send me to vm
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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