wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
