Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
