Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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