I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
