Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
