It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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