that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
