Can Purell be used as lube?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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